


The Holley Bibble

by spooperhellagey



Category: Supernatural, it said to add a fandom, oops? - Fandom
Genre: Other, Well - Freeform, back in high school, holy bible satire play, im going to hell, instead of writing an essay for my english teacher, please dont get offended, that i created at 2am, this is an atrocity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 22:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11907525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spooperhellagey/pseuds/spooperhellagey
Summary: Warning: I do not own the Holy Bible. This is only a parody of what is written in the “good book”. Yes, right wing conservatives, I know, I am going to Hell. Deal with it.Honestly, I was extremely sleep deprived when I wrote this a few years ago so if you see any spelling or grammar errors tell me because I'm more than likely never going to catch them on my own. Thanks fam.





	1. Chapter 1

Preface:  
This is borne not out of hatred of Christianity. This is just pure satire and should not be taken seriously. I was just very bored and running off of approximately five hours of sleep and thought in my sleep-deprived state “hey, what if I rewrote the Bible and called it ‘the Bibble’ and made it funny and unserious, but kept all the cool stuff from it? Hey, man, what if?” and then this atrocity was created.  
In the wise words of most of the tumblr artists that I have come across on many a shitpost on that Godforsaken website, ‘oops, my finger slipped.’


	2. Jenna Sis Juan

Narrator:In the beginning there was nothing. And then there was light and life and it was... a shoe? Greg what the fuck is this? Why is there a shoe in here?  
Greg: That’s my shoe…  
Narrator: Yeah, I see that. Why is it here?  
Greg: I’m sorry I’ll just-  
Narrator: Yeah, you better get rid of-  
Greg: I’m so sorry.  
Narrator: [sighs deeply and pinches bridge of nose] Well, that’s just fine and dandy, Greg. But you still ruined the intro and wasted the audience’s time. Now, I have to start all over. I hope you’re happy.  
Greg: [exits left with shoe, is very ashamed in himself. Yeah, that’s right Greg. you better be sorry]  
Narrator:[glares at Greg’s back. Fucking Greg, man. Just fucking Greg.] Anyway, back to what I was saying before somebody [glares at where Greg exited from] decided it was okay to interrupt.  
Greg: [calls from somewhere out of sight] I said I was sorry-  
Narrator: Shut up, Greg!  
Greg: [shuts up.]  
Narrator: In the beginning there was nothing. And then there was light and life and it was super cool, lemme tell you. Aight so, this super mad scientist called God was like “yo, Imma create this place of peace and order and then Imma call it Heathen” which is what He did and it was rad as heck.  
The Intern: You mean, ‘Heaven’?  
Narrator: That’s what I said, right?[The Intern shakes her head] Oh. Well, yeah. That place. Heaven. Rad as heck. Anyway, after Heaven this God character was like “hmm, lemme make this shitty place and put some mad wack creatures on it and some rad looking backdrops for these creatures and then call it ‘Earth’.” So, that’s exactly what happened.  
Narrator: Alright so, before any of the ‘creatures’ were allowed on Earth, He had to make the darkness less dark and added a dash of lightness. The darkness is not to be confused with the character from the television show Supernatural that is called ‘the Darkness’ and is God’s sister.Totally different darknesses. Okay, so, the lightness was called Day and the darkness was called Night.  
Narrator: I should probably describe all the things that happened to Earth and Heaven during those first six days, but that’s just too much and would take literal hours if I were to go into detail. The basic jist of what happens is that Heaven is in the Sky and the clouds and the Earth is, well, the earth. And the seventh day was ‘kick back and chillax’ day for all. Ha-leh-loo, em eight.  
Narrator: But then God was like “dude. I should make this thing called ‘man’ and have ‘man’ watch over my new shitty creatures. Ohmyself, that would being fucking great.” So He did just that. He like shaved a monkey shove it in some mud and then blessed it and was like “yes. This is what I want” and named this weird hooman thing ‘Adam’. What kind of fucking name is that, amirite?  
Adam, the guy who hired the Narrator: [flicks holley wahdew at Narrator] Leave.  
Narrator: [throws his chair across the room. Punches Greg in the face on his way out the door]   
New Narrator: [picks up the chair and sits on it] I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m really excited.[looks down at script in hand] Oh! Right! Uhm…  
Adam: [slams hand up and forcefully facepalms in agitation]  
New Narrator: And then He ripped a rib out of Adam, slapped some mud and a blonde wig on it and blesses it and gave the hooman the name ‘Eve’. End of Jenna Sis Jaun.


End file.
